Take A Flight

re-opening this

2010-02-23T04:38:00.002+08:00

can opener, i have a can opener.

after much thought i have finally decided to re-open this blog. hopefully i can fill this up with all thing useful.

i'm just excited to write again.

2008-07-08T11:21:00.005+08:00

i have a confession. i know you will hate it. but before you react hear me out. i totally love the template of this blog. i love the links. every single link i visit everyday, even if they're outdated. i like it that it ranked 2/10 in Google's PageRank to think that this is a personal blog. it's supposed to be Invites Only. the contents are memorable. it's my ups and downs during the span of september 2007 until yesterday when i decided that i like something more perky yet simple. Blogger is simple, i know but there's really a lot more to that. so... i am moving to a blog which had been my blog before i even thought of Taking a Flight. http://d-hooligan.livejournal.com

I hope you can update your links, if any of you gives a shit... (sorry for the inconvenoince too) as this blog may not be updated ---- indefinitely.

2008-07-07T09:15:00.002+08:00

it was someone's birthday and his birthday wish touched me inexplicably. i can't explain it, i'll just have to repost it.

happy dealing with cancer

Jul 3, '08 10:11 PM
for niche oh's contacts

after 22 years of asking for something for my birthday, i have actually arrived at a conclusion that i don't have a material birthday wish. sure sure i want a dslr, gael gracia bernal or joe jonas and what nots, but i am actually content with what i have. i don't have much you know, but being surrounded with wonderful people, friends who save you everytime, bandmates who remind you what fun it is being a kid and music that sings from your earphones and from your heart. those are enough to fill a birthday wish list - ten times fold. sure along the years we may lose some, but it always comes back. if not, it goes on forward bringing happiness to those who deserve it more. and that to me means a lot too. as one of my closest friends told me, it's always best to pay it forward.

i'm probably one of the people that finds joy easily. seeing other people's vacation photographs in multiply, reading stories in LJ, friends winning vj hunts or rock awards or a better job offer or a magazine cover or even handed a free cocktail at the sex and the city premiere because the producer felt she was fashown - those make me happy. hearing about you hooking up again after a break up, you winning a pitch, you getting married, you admitting you're gay, you finding happiness after loss, you finding enlightenment after a career dilemma and you sharing those all to me - those make me happy.

and you despite what was said and done, you still being here. that makes me happy.

sure in the 22 years that i've lived i may not have discovered a new element, or made a decent song or even written a short story that i could have printed - those can wait you know. and i know some of the best days are ahead, i can feel it. because if today is already an indicator of the things ahead, then i may as well be confident to be happy - because i'm blessed. and very much thankful for that.

so i thank you.

for your hellos. for his. for hullo theres and where you ats. for late night hangouts. for invites and backstage passes. for compliments. for arguments. for omgs and omfgs. for ctcs and abcs. the pats in the back. the high fives. for believing. for friendships and whatever comes after that. for sugarfree songs that mean so much to me and the chance to catch it live. for m and cy who are probably my two favorite girls. for work. for music. for the images that ring so vividly. for family who influence me in invisible ways. for coconut ice cream and bangus sisigs. for trips in the ukayukay despite my sinusitis. for the ipod playing a song i love while on shuffle. for elroy, day one, plane and ams. for smoldering eye candies. for beautiful amber sunsets on top of a skyscraper. for the beach which i hate so much but secretly love it because of zar's influence. for that small wish we had of going to prague. for the food places with rotch. for sudden strike of inspirations and sparks of genius. for giving me the chance to guide alexis. for people like yagi, conrad and sib who curse like pirates but speak of love like poets. for kids like rue or ria or jorge, simon, or cham who always bear witness when fanboy mode attacks. for kids back in school. for braders and sisters. for chicosci and in whatever form or shape they take. for nica, peej and the old friends for reminding me where i came from. to new friends and those to come. for all the people who have touched my life i offer gratitude. and i thank time, for giving me another birthday.

sorry if it looks like i'm writing a liner note for a cd. but if i don't say these now, i'll probably won't have the courage or the inspiration to do it anytime soon. or the apt occasion that it's my birthday.

so i guess it boils to one thing after all. i'm afraid i'd have to rebuttal myself.

i do have a birthday wish.

i just wish to say thank you. and urge you, to love.

2008-07-07T01:48:00.003+08:00

IT

i'm gonna' take my last cig for tonight while i think about what to write in this blog.

--- done smoking. i thought of 1 person whom i totally miss. y'know, what if he's here? what happens? i thought of getting old and who i'd be with when the time comes. i can hear the couple next door, watching a movie in their 24" TV while i sit in the terrace floor. there's a big house right in front and it looks empty. i don't like a big empty house. i'd rather have a small house full of people. people i love and care the most. our house in CDO is small but at night my parents are home watching TV, my father drinking beer, my brothers doing whatever they do. My mother hates it when they don't see us at home. Even though she used to tell us to get out of the house when we finish school. Well I did, and my eldest brother did. But I know she miss us and she wants us to come back. I don't want to go back just yet.

So This Is the New Year (DeathCabForCutie)... there is no difference between a new year's eve and this night. I'd only feel old in the former. and I hate it that i'm wasting away my life looking for something i don't know. I love the freedom and the way things are but nights like this makes talk of freedom get old. i want to wake up everyday thinking that i could die today and it's okay because i had it. the thing is, i don't even know what's IT.

2008-07-06T03:28:00.001+08:00

FACT CHECKED!

2008-07-03T11:00:00.003+08:00

lately i don't know why i'm like starving to death all the time. i eat before i log in for work, i eat during breaks, i eat right before i go home and i eat at home. what happened to me? what happened to my diet? what happened to the 90 pound weight goal? what?!

i have to stop this madness. is this depression? or is this some kind of hormonal imbalance?

i honestly don't know what's going on with my life. i want something new. maybe i'm just bored. god, i hate myself. i feel like i'm stranded. and i don't know how to get out of it. i need to fly away. i can feel my fear.

2008-07-01T09:33:00.002+08:00

one of my favorite thread in the Digitalphotographer forum is the one that tackles the subject: Is a professional photographer considered an artist? I can't link it up though though because i can;t the thread now. However people raised several brilliant opinions and ideas, quotations from one website to another. It was a good read at the time.

I kinda' been thinking about it. And i thought, when i get the right gear and learned the right ways of photography i'd somehow want to make money out of it. Just like how bands are. they invest on music instruments, they practice till they perfect the tracks. they are considered artist, why can't Professional photographers be considered one? right?

I guess it depends on how one sees Art. I remember reading an article from Aless Tinio about several months ago about an art exhibit aptly called "Just Like Art," it wan;t really painting of photo exhibit but it was a collections of collage of rock n' roll personalities that Aless and his art partner loved. And i thought, it's not just like an Art, it's actually Art itself. For me, i guess, Art is not being able to edit a picture in photoshop well, it's how original and how passionate you are at the picture you are editing. For me there are photos that connect and there photos that don't. In professional photography it becomes your job to please your clients. And just like how my deskjob is, there are things you don't do and there are things you don't. There are boundaries, there are rules. As inviting as the money is, is it worth it to kiss ass and compromise? it's like me listeing to Sarah Geronimo all of a sudden. Ack.

But of course, to one's his own. we all have our opinion. mine's pretty cluttered.

me and the city

2008-06-30T05:07:00.001+08:00

in one of our happy-beer-drinking-sessions with my friends Adrian (from Pampanga & Baguio), Celia (from Bulacan) and Mitch (partly from Lucban, Quezon) and i (from CDO).. we tackled the subject: our first day in Manila. It's funny how we think that people who stays in the Province are the ones who get married first. It's been a cliche that people at the province don't have anything to do (especially on rainy days) than make babies. Of course we may not be Correct at all but that has been a general idea amongst the four of us. It's also my own thinking that people who have lived in the metro all their life don't know how to ride a bike or climb a tree. and we all think we don't want our kids to grow up in the city.

MITCH

CEL

me & adrian

but why am i here?

it's definitely lovely in the province. the beach is just a stone-throw away, life is easy, there's no pressure, parents are always there to give you money when you ain't got none, and you are surrounded by the people you love and loves you just the same.

unlike here, you are surrounded with crooked people who tells you something good about what you did and tells otherwise to other people behind your back. where traffic is downright stupid, the lines in government agencies are endless, no starry skies, men equals to perverts, you can't just dangle your cellphone anywhere, you have to pray hard for god to keep you safe if you walk alone in slum areas, and the list goes on and on...

the answer is pretty simple. independence. Here is where i found myself. Here is where i know i can be anybody. i get to meet and greet people from all walks of life, from wherever and whoever. the possibility is endless, as far as i can see. Here is where i create the life i want. i get to learn different ways of how people live their lives. that is why i never get tired after working 3 years in a call center. i like knowing how people do things. how people are. Americans are fascinating! i am far from the trappings of cliches and norms. i get to explore Art in different ways. i get to realize my own mistakes. i get to appreciate how my parents raised me. i get to know myself pretty well by the choices i've made. i don't know if i would have learned these in CDO, all i know is when i'm there i'm Lost inside myself. too many complex emotions and inaction make my ambitions futile.

2008-06-30T01:08:00.001+08:00

Cielo or Xiuxiu, one of my great writer friend (she never had a job that don't involve writing) featured my photos in one of her blog. Click this link.

it was a fun fun night indeed, last night! and no, thanks... i don't like the three-some-hang-out idea. *lulz

2008-06-30T00:50:00.000+08:00

things i'd like to do before i die:

play the drums
have at least one photo published in TIME magazine, just like the one photo that made me cry.
go backpacking all across the globe: Asia, Europe, USA, Australia, Africa... Antartica! (if it's possible)
see the Eraserheads perform live
become a Roadie
write a film
work for 27+20
one-night-stand with Mong Alcaraz (ha ha ha)
create a happy family life

it isn't everything but i'll remember most of it soon. and if you can help me fulfill me one of those things, just e-mail me. he he he

2008-06-29T05:06:00.000+08:00

from the streets of Paseo, to Starbucks in 6750 to Saguijo

i ditched my friends from ACS to give time to this night of shooting, stories and music. anything for the love of photography and music. from here on I have resolved to take lessons. i think i have found my style in a way and i think i will be comfortable if a teacher tells me to do this and that. i think i won't get lost in their cliche-like ways.

good sign.

check out the shots at my multiply. follow the link (-;

2008-06-26T08:46:00.000+08:00

how would you feel when people tells you...

"alam mo, hate na hate ka namin dati. kase ang ingay ingay mo."

uh-uh-uh--i was stunned when my ugly fugly teammates told me that. i'd like to throw in a joke but i can't when there's something i haven't said yet. that i used to hate them more. all i managed to say was "tangina nyo!"

i hate confrontations because i'm not good at it. my words and reasons are well thought of, well planned, before I let my anger take control.

anyway, it was okay they told me that. at least now i know. i understand i may be unlikeable at first ...? but i'm the one who'll be with you at your best and at your worst.. =) Err, what the hell, i don't give a shit. ha! ha! i choose my friends. i have trust issues. because i'm aware i'm no fighter so if a person hurts me, i can't retaliate. it's weird, i know.

2008-06-24T08:33:00.000+08:00

so like, i'm so off the loop. while i was stranded inside my tiny apartment, the fully-loaded 23,800-ton MV Princess of the Stars sank in the Romblon waters. when i heard it i felt like i want to go there dive and help find if there's any breathing human being trapped somewhere. it's a tragedy. i could just imagine in my head the sound and look of people like children, women and old folks crying and screaming at the face of death. a maritime disaster, indeed.

y'know i like travelling through ships. i feel pretty at peace at sea. so hearing this type of news really brings me down.

well, it appears that capsizing ships isn't just Typhoon “Frank”'s (international codename: Fengshen) favorite hobby, over a hundred people in the Ilo-ilo region drowned in the flood. I haven't seen a flood higher than my waistline so for a flood to drown people that must have rose up above my head. I mean, come on! Landslide is understandable, but flood? how? do they live at the bottom of a crater? I really wish there is something I can do to help.

my heart had sunk too and i've had too many smokes today. i need to go to to bed, so ta-ta!

2008-06-23T17:44:00.000+08:00

Finally, i was able to install WXP once again (with a li'l help form a friend). I was dying to edit... just edit. So I took some shots around the apartment this morning, downloaded a trial version of Adobe Lightroom 1.4, watched Da Vinci Code for the nth time and then comes these...

tsinelas

bisyo

kuya teddy

=D i'm satisfied.

2008-06-21T14:30:00.000+08:00

i actually feel the urge to write about something but i just don't know how to start. well, it's not a personal thing like what this blog is all about. it's pertaining to music, to money, popularity and stuff. all kinds. i get sick of talking about myself, sometimes. so when i feel ike writing something about myself, i prefer not to blog at all. but like i said, Me is what this blog is all about. ha ha.

2008-06-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

...to love me again

i can order my tears to fall,
i can order myself to not drink coke,
i can order on e-bay a fleeting joy,
but why can't i order you?

to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again,
to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again,
to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again,
to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again,
to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again,
to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again,
to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again, to love me again...

2008-06-19T09:50:00.000+08:00

LISTENING TO: you're killing me - ChicoSci

i'm so bored. i don't want to eat. i'm watching my diet now. i don't want to read a book, i don't feel like getting into someone's creative thoughts. i don't want to tidy up i feel tired. i don't want to sleep just yet, it's wasting my time. the music is up so loud and i'm listening to CHICOSci. i really don't want to blog neither but blogging helps me think. life is boring right now. i'm broke. nothing to look forward to. most people i know are broke too. if not busy with their own life. living by yourself is totally boring when you're broke. i wish i can find it in myself to organize my stuff. organize my life. at times like this i'd like to listen to the "One Hundred Things To Motivate Yourself" audio book. but my ipod is low in battery and i am too lazy to get up.

* i want to communicate.

a damp emotion.

2008-06-15T20:29:00.001+08:00

..still not moving

2008-06-15T20:18:00.000+08:00

Revolver Presents: Lightyears / Tribute to the Eraserheads
Loc: Saguijo
Date: June 14, 2008

2008-06-14T13:58:00.000+08:00

i hate it when people see my camera and think that i'm good at taking photos. i love the hobby but i'm really not good. in fact i haven't been learning. the most basic thing i could learn which is "composition" i couldn't even master. so i'm no good. i can shoot through manual because i once spoke with someone who does manual and that's it. i don't have any foundation. i didn't go to any workshop. why not? well, should i? i can read.

sometimes i can shoot right, most of the time i don't. experience is my best teacher while inspiration is my best driver.

to be a photographer had been a dream of mine since i was nine. kidding. it rhymed, so.. :p

seriously, my friend in college could attest to that. i would look at a great photo in the library and cry. just like watching sappy movies. my favourite part in the library is the Filipiniana section, where they store all the magazines. and i'd grab every magazine i can get my hands on and only look at the pictures on it and read only its captions. i could live there.

how do i like a certain photo? it's when i look at it and it makes my heart jump. it's what every shoppers feel when they see something they totally love and they start imagining how they will look like when they wear it or how it will feel like to have something like it. in my case, i would find a story behind the photo and i will imagine the feeling if i was at that place. it's ethereal.

2008-06-13T13:28:00.000+08:00

2008-06-11T08:50:00.000+08:00

"one downside of loving

your job

so much is it breaks

your heart just like

lovers do. "

;(

2008-06-07T18:43:00.000+08:00

sex and the city (the movie)

yes i finally watched it today with two of my girlfriends. i watched the series from end to end so there is no way i am going to miss the movie. truthfully though, before i got addicted to Carrie Bradshaw's character, i deeply despised her and i thought she's a totally senseless writer. so cheesy and full of crap. last year i finally gave in. for the sake of watching something, i put on the pirated DVD that my room mate bought and before i knew it, it grew on me. yes, their outfit is way too elaborate like as if they're walking in fashion week every single day but underneath those designer clothes are stories of this nagging reality of how hard it is to find true love.

i really thought i'd never fall for the movie because i thought i've seen 'em all sappy stories. i guess one will never see enough.

2008-06-05T08:47:00.000+08:00

"just with the obamafication of politics, we see opramification of religion"

i received a text message saying Oprah Winfrey has been campaigning her own religion amongst her huge audience. and of course, because i don't watch TV, i am not one of her huge audience. so i went online instead and logged in to YouTube, and there it was Oprah Winfrey yanking out her favorite book and how she was awakened by it.

Atheism has gotten into her. I think i know a whole lot of people who are truly atheists. and at some point of my life I did consider atheism, until I learned more about Philosophy. Oprah is right though when she says we can choose what path we follow, and i think that triggered people's mind which made the discussion erupt into some kind of argument. Oprah has a point but it sucks when she uses her power in media for it. She is a staple. Lots of people who do nothing but sit on their couch watch her and these people's mind are mostly not trained to take opinion as it is.

I think it's a good subject. something to talk about.

2008-06-04T09:15:00.000+08:00

Gusto kitang TIRISIN

Jun 4, '08 10:05 AM
for chaii's contacts

surprisingly, i'm feeling okay. and i don't care if you don't care i'm going to blog about it anyway, (haha) anywEy, work was a breeze today. i had like 28 clients to call back within 2 hours. god forbid that's not easy, but my lazy bone was temporarily disconnected today and i was able to finish all my cases within the shift. no sweat. :p

there's only one thing though. i'd like to kill my ugly fugly officemate(s). i don't know but there are just times when i kind of hate some people for no reason at all? and for some reason i'd like to call these people ugly fugly!

anyway, so the CE scores went out, it was blasted on the e-mail. and unfortunately the team's score was 3 points less than the passing score. and that's bad for a team who has been consistently hitting the mark for the past 2 months. and i'm new to the team, right? i just joined yesterday. so there was this ugly fugly girl who commented in a very Distinct voice:

"TM, kasama na ba jan sa mga scores ang mga bago?!"

i was silently sitting on my chair, typing on the keyboard, staring at the monitor and the whole time she was repeating those lines to the group, all i was thinking was i would like to throw the 42-lb. mini tower at her ugly fugly face! i was That disgusted.

excuse my french but.. WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE MEAN BY THAT?!?

i mean, she might just be kiddin' and all, or curious... but jeezus gurl, show some sensitivity!

it didn't totally ruin my day. im just, y'know, kind of pissed by that. she is a total moron! the report was based 2 weeks ago and i was with a different team at that time (which by the way Hit the passing mark). i don't want to claim to be all-knowing, but please, i've been with the company for a little less than 2 years now and Excuse me, When was her Hire Date, 2007 or 2008!? Uh, gimme a break! "Gusto mo sampal ko sa pagmumukha mo ang dalawang plake ko sa bahay galeng sa kompanya, at sangkatutak na Cert of Recognitions with 2,500 Php Gift Cert each?!"

but of course, things happen and some things change, sometimes for the worse. life is cruel. i can't complain. it's a waste of time.

so now i'm gonna quit on blogging about those people. i just had to take it off my chest.

but i am pretty elated with the attitude my new manager is showing me right now. she makes me want to work. honestly. i like those types of leaders. those who can live by example. i desperately need someone like her especially at this topsy-turvy time of my carrer with the company. i need someone i can Trust.

Anyhoo, I need to clean up my room, clear private data on Mozilla, and hide the cigarrette packs and butts... my brother is coming to town. he he. i kind of think i need some quality control in my life. it's not all well living happy-go-lucky, i need someone who will tell me what not and what to do. and that quality control department of my life at this point is my family ---even if most of the time, i don't really listen to 'em... :p

Listening to: KONTI NA LANG by Pedicab

2008-06-02T13:09:00.000+08:00

It's good-bye summer but it's never too late to hole up in the beach. Life is a Beach, anyway.

Anawangin {part 2}

When a cricket sheds its skin

Holing up in the beach

Yay bungisngis? he he

A D80 *droool*

Goin' down

more photos at http://flickr.com/photos/chaiilayosa/sets/72157605380855552/

tee-hee!

2008-05-30T06:56:00.000+08:00

note to self: what is wrong will always be wrong.

a thing to learn: discipline.

today i realized i'm not ready for a steady relationship, because i don't want to take orders or report my every move to some sort of higher authority. i don't want to tell a certain person i'm going to this place and that place, or i'll be doing this and that at a certain time.

i like this life. right now. care free. i text back to text messages only when i like to. i answer phone calls only when i like to. i can cancel appointments conveniently. no one knows what i do when i'm at home. no one knows where i go when i'm Not home. it's like i own my life fully and i care only for myself.

it's selfish and if you came from a tight relationship, it's really hard to do. it takes a lot of getting used to. but it's gratifying in a way, when you come to a point of independence. when you get to find solutions for your own problem without consulting anyone else. and you get to decide on things. you get to design your life.

it's definitely hard to let this go. so anyone who comes rushing to my life without further notice will definitely experience a total blow. i apologize.

2008-05-29T06:27:00.000+08:00

Networking, is it a Scam?

yesterday i finally found the time to go with Adrian at the meeting about the business proposal he'd constantly bugged me to venture into. and true to what i suspected, it was Networking. the word alone already leaves a bad taste in my mouth. so all i did while the person was explaining their business was diss every fuckin' word the lady said. and i kind of let her sense it that i'm disgusted at what she's explaining. but out of respect for her efforts and to my good friend Adrian, i sat there to listen. after the presentation, the head of this triad spoke to me about it and i found a few lapses in his speech.

first off, these are his exact words when i said that the fee of $299 (=12,400 roughly in pesos) is too high... "last 2007 alone, the company earned $4 Mil, now why do we need your $299?" so in my head i was thinking, "Well, don't make me pay it then if you don't Need it!" second, i didn't see a business permit in their office. third, he said "Well, I could make someone else rich today through this if I want to. But no, I offered this business to you.." and inside I was like, What the fuck?! Collect 12,400 pesos from someone else then! I've heard all those lines from the movie Boiler Room and well, I'm not an idiot. But I mean, regardless if he was bad at buying my business but the way they sell it is totally crappy. Why do they focus on collecting the $299? Why is their product the Training BOOKLET? that costs $299? It's supposed to be an on-line travel agent... they should market that more, they should show how you can earn through the Hits you get on the website and on the bookings you get and not on how they can collect the money from anyone who gives interests to listen to their crappy presentation.

i know it sucks to have a boss and it feels nice to have your own business. however, it's a lot better if it's a business that you REALLY want. a business whose owner do not put you at one of their Networking family tree. I want a business I actually thought of myself, where I can be constantly creative, just like how i like putting things together by myself in my home sweet home (:

2008-05-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

i hate to talk about work, because ... generally my job sucks, and i don't want to cause any commotion if people from the office reads this. however, because it's Memorial Day in the U.S. there are less calls coming in, which means i have nothing to do.

right now i am with a different team. my previous team that i have learned to love and know was dissolved. we were scattered to different teams and now here i am, amongst strangers. lol. but today i had lunch with them. i get to know them and stuff... i learned one of our teammates and my Case Manager once worked in ACS ( me previous company). i also learned that one of my teammates is a certified underwater diver. coolness, right? and one of our case manager hails from Cebu who had a girlfriend from Iligan and apparently he wants to try white water rafting. Hehe.. i believe i learned a lot about them in one sitting.

if you ask me if i'm happy i'd have to say "i have no choice." i don't want to keep on ranting about how management sucks big time. it is actually better to see the positive side of things. that's a proven fact. there is nothing i can do with how the management manages things, i am certain they have their reasons (whatever that is) but i CAN do something with my situation. Given that I was not chosen to train to support higher queus, I have plenty of time in my hands. I already know the process of the queue I support, there not much pressure to learn new things, hence, I have time to learn my other passion: photography.

I think I will finally sign up for a lesson. It will create another hole in my pocket but it's a precious hands-on learning which I wouldn't be able to learn somewhere else. Or if I can, I'll be too lazy and unmotivated to even bother to care, right? So I'll give it a Go.

2008-05-25T01:36:00.000+08:00

the thing that's so wrong is starting to be so right

it's like the drunk version of me talking.

--------------------------------------------------

YM CONVERSATION: long, but i've never expressed myself in a quite sensible manner before... so i just have to copy+paste it in here. Names have been altered. (because you know..)

(00:47:59) D_G has buzzed you!
(00:48:31) C: hy
(00:48:34) C: hey
(00:48:49) D_G: it's past ur bedtime
(00:49:00) C: i was gonna ask u the same thing
(00:49:01) C: haha
(00:49:24) C: my bedtime is during the day sweetie
(00:49:28) C: :p
(00:50:03) D_G: hmmm...ic...have u eaten already hon?
(00:50:06) C: :)
(00:50:34) C: not yet. i just woke up..
(00:51:12) D_G: ok, same here....maybe we can each each other....
(00:51:15) D_G: :D
(00:51:42) C: hahhaa i prefer my food cooked
(00:51:46) C: :p
(00:52:22) C: i actally have a place of my own now
(00:52:28) C: (=
(00:52:38) D_G: nice...
(00:52:39) C: no roommates
(00:52:44) C: (yet)
(00:52:52) D_G: can i crash in sometime? :)
(00:53:02) C: sure
(00:53:17) D_G: got a spare room?
(00:53:31) C: none. we odnt need one
(00:53:33) C: haha
(00:53:38) D_G: hehe
(00:53:54) D_G: well, i can just sleep on the floor, anywy
(00:54:52) C: nahh di ba pag bisita ang bisita ipasleep sa comfy place
(00:55:05) C: heheh.. so if u're here i sleep on the floor.. lolx
(00:56:56) D_G: hmmm...well, id be comfy enough on the floor...y
(00:57:05) D_G: 'know...
(00:57:30) D_G: can't sleep beside ypu....
(00:57:40) C: i have no yosi.. ggrrr sarado na mga stores ;(
(00:57:47)D_G: im in a state of celibacy...
(00:58:02) D_G: im cutting on my smokes...
(00:58:20) C: hmmm.. u thinking of joining priesthood?
(00:58:23)C: lol
(00:59:00) D_G: nope.....im training on my contortionist workshop...im sucking my own dick... :P
(00:59:14) C: ha ha ha ha ha
(00:59:20) C: that is so gay
(00:59:23) C: ha a ha ha
(00:59:41) D_G: hehe
(00:59:42) C: no really... what's up
(01:01:06) D_G: what's up? well, my dick for one thing...chatting with you makes me horny...i got a new acoustic guitar...a new 3210 celfon :P ...and my hair is longer... :)
(01:01:56)C: no i mean what's up with u why do u practice celibacy and no smokes rule all of a sudden?
(01:02:11) C: or is it juts a joke
(01:02:25) D_G: im back in the gym dear....
(01:02:28) C: cos i dont think u'd last
(01:04:23) D_G: im studying the effect of a hot male body on the minds of women
(01:04:35) C: ha ha ha ha ha
(01:04:38) D_G: :))
(01:05:04) D_G: i can't work out while being a human chimney
(01:05:41) C: well yeah
(01:05:47) C: thta's good..
(01:07:35) C: i think i shud start going to the gym as well
(01:08:00) D_G: hmmm....im saving my demonstration when you get back...i'll be celibate until then...so i can have a neutral study...and i can record the effects of celibacy on my libido :P...
(01:08:11)D_G: when u gonna visit here, anyway?
(01:08:59) C: ii dont know yet
(01:09:11) D_G: ic
(01:09:20) C: hmm.. but that might be soon hehe
(01:10:18) D_G: oh, still got my number?
(01:10:39) C: i dont think so..
(01:10:50) C: dyo have my #?
(01:11:41) D_G: 0916711xxxx-thats my new number
(01:11:48) C: ok
(01:11:55) D_G: nope..i don't think i have yours
(01:12:30) C: u change #'s all the time
(01:13:09) D_G: well, i lose fons all the time
(01:13:17) D_G: :)
(01:14:14) C: he he
(01:15:05) C: grabe kaayo ka maloloy-on sa kawatan dah
(01:15:08) C: ha ha ha
(01:15:53) D_G: yeah...well, technically, i just lost them...not stolen...
(01:16:57) C: ey, ive uploaded new shots in devart
(01:17:45) D_G: rreally? i'll check them out monday....haven't been browsing much lately....
(01:18:26) C: too much work?
(01:19:07) D_G: nah...too drunk most of the time...just have enough sobriety for work...none left to surf
(01:19:10) D_G: :D
(01:19:16) C: lol
(01:19:47) C: i dont like drinking too much anymore
(01:19:59) C: pirmi lang sakit akong ulo after 3 bottles
(01:20:58) D_G: ic...
(01:21:13) D_G: whats ur "near vice" left?
(01:22:49) C: smoking and photog, if u call that a vice.. hehe cos it's so addicting
(01:29:54) D_G: uh-huh....
(01:35:26) D_G: ey...maybe we could spend longer time than the last time...i mean sex with u is marvelous, since i feel u trust me fully, but we never had the chance to laze around and talk in bed coz we both had alcohol..and it was kinda sleepy mode for us
(01:37:17) C: yeah.. i like that idea too..
(01:38:49) C: i wish we could have more time in the future
(01:41:06) D_G: really, chai, i've never been fully comfortable in bed with anyone the way i am with you...maybe it's because we have always been lovers...and we never set any great expectations from each other more than the usual friendship would impose
(01:42:35) D_G: i can close my eyes and still recall how holding you would feel
(01:44:31) C: (01:41:06) D_G: really, chai, i've never been fully comfortable in bed with anyone the way i am with you...maybe it's because we have always been lovers...and we never set any great expectations from each other more than the usual friendship would impose <---- i guess we are, and i dont know what to do about it
(01:45:03) C: it's like nice the way it is..
(01:45:11) D_G: well, as always...you'll be you, and i'll be me
(01:45:14) D_G: :)
(01:48:17) C: i think i've always loved u.... i just think the idea scares u though
(01:48:28) D_G: my yuppy look...
(01:49:17) D_G: hmmm...why is it sacry again?
(01:49:50) C: ha ha ha
(01:50:18) D_G: seen that?
(01:50:37) C: seen what?
(01:51:35) D_G: i sent a file of my new yuppy look
(01:51:43) C: nope
(01:52:02) C: im using pidgin.. so limited features. hehe
(01:52:13) D_G: ngek..ok
(01:52:47) D_G: anyways, back to the previous thing...y do you think it's scary?
(01:54:16) C: because i think u dont like relationshiops... the one that sets limits..
(01:55:01) Ci: and i guess i'm scared of it myself too
(01:55:24) D_G: hmmm...as far as i can tell....there are no limits set between us dear
(02:00:11) C: u should be a girl some time
(02:00:44) D_G: hmmm...don't know exactly what that means
(02:01:13) C: be in a girl's shoes
(02:03:29) D_G: actually, i don't think i;ll live long enough to fully see the best thing a true relationship would offer.
(02:04:15) C: i guess u dont stay in a rel too long to witness it...
(02:04:48) C: and stop the I wont live long crap
(02:04:55) C: :p
(02:05:45) D_G: ok...given ur observations, why are you scared?
(02:08:13) C: because u're you. i think i know u so well.
(02:08:39) C: and i know myself so well too...
(02:09:11) D_G: now what does that mean? why are u scared of what i am ? and what am i anyway? don't be cryptic
(02:10:15) C: well.. u have too many girls and too many vices and sometimes a little suicidal...
(02:11:24) C: andi dont think u like the idea of limirtations
(02:11:43) D_G: well, i didn't impose any restrictions on you regarding boys, y'know
(02:12:08) C: ha ha ha
(02:12:59) C: well if it would have been like, official, officiaL? u dont have to impose it cos i would impose it myself
(02:16:23) D_G: what we have now is cool and nice...and yes, i do have a problem with restrictions, i can stick to one girl, but i can't stick to the rules and impositions, like don't go out with ur friends drinking all the time, or cigarettes, or the demands of the "normal" relationship
(02:19:07) C: u can stick to one girl? i find tat hard to believe
(02:20:20) D_G: i can...if she trusts me enough and if she doesnt nag
(02:22:53) C: of course we dont like naggers.. hehe
(02:25:14) D_G: right...but i don't like any restrictions...
(02:27:20) D_G: ...i mean, any gf has the right to restrict the bf from going with another woman...but aside from that, i don't think i can comply
(02:27:28) C: i like relationships where u can be yourself too..
(02:28:22) D_G: well, let's just be what we are...it's simpler this way dear...
(02:28:30) C: i know
(02:29:09) C: sakit kaayo sa headache huna-hunaon ang uban pa.. he he
(02:30:04) D_G: yeah...and well, i still have no i dea what's scaring you
(02:32:35) C: the point is.. if we become more than what we are now.. we might regret it.. yknow what i mean.. ? i think people change in a rel... basing on my observations...
(02:33:26) D_G: ic...and you're right
(02:35:29) D_G: well,i guess we'll just be friends and lovers dear
(02:35:41) C: and being a "girl" that i am... i kinda look for something deeper than what we have...

2008-05-21T05:26:00.000+08:00

when all else fails,

GMG!

(Google Mo Gagu!)

2008-05-11T05:05:00.000+08:00

i've always been attracted to felines. when i was a kid i thought i could speak their language because every time i go "meow.." they stare and meows back at me.

Photos by: Fleurwelberry

2008-05-09T15:13:00.000+08:00

when i went to the 10th anniversary Gig and abum launch of Sandwich last Feb '08, before Sandwich played Betamax Raims made mention of dedicating the song to the their ever-loyal sandwich listers. i think that was really sweet of him. i think Raims is sweet. there are gigs when he would just hug his bandmates one by one out of happiness, maybe? i'd like to think that's what keeps him on top. he's down to earth and always keeps his trusted friends at bay. he never fails to acknowledge talent when he sees it, as well. but that's just me. i know, i'm Psychic, right?

anyway, speaking of Sandwich.. i'd like some ham and lotsa cheese on it... i'd like to share to you the video for their new single Betamax. Directed by Nico Puertollano. he's another talent i totally admire. I wish i could work for 27+20 one day. the video is pretty simple and neat and there's a lotsa' depth of fields involved. it's totally cute and i can so relate. i've played all those games featured in the video when i was a kid. maybe you did too.

enjoy!

2008-05-08T10:19:00.000+08:00

honestly, with all that's going through my head these days, as much as i'd like to blog my brain freezes as soon as i visit my site. but for the sake of posting something today, here's a photo of Mong which i shamelessly grabbed from AnotherNightOut.com

and notice the girl at his side...

Holy Smokes! is that his new girl?

'just being nosy, haha!

2008-05-04T11:03:00.000+08:00

albums i have yet to buy:

1) The Vince noir Project
2) Under Southern Lights - Urbandub
3) Pedicab's new album hopefully when it comes out this year... Ang Pusa Mo!

Support Local Acts!

(=

2008-04-30T11:28:00.000+08:00

i am so happy today. i got Adobe Photoshop 7.0 work in Ubuntu. I heart Ubuntu now. lloyd said it's only for hard-core Linux users, but lemme tell you it was a breeze. i had no problem installing it.

also, i bought a refurbished iPod video from an officemate for a very reasonable price. 30g, black. i am so excited to go to work tonight. although i know the owner will be dearly sad, a promise to make the most out of it is all i can do.

i also had my loan approved which means i can go apartment-hunting now and pay my Credit Card Bills! Originally i planned to buy an SB-800 flash gun with it, however i think it might take a backseat because a shelter is far more important. setting priority is a Must.

i also plan to go back to Anawangin on May 30th. Goodie! I heart Anawangin, too. It's picture perfect!

not all is well though. but i don't like to discuss sad thoughts. so anyway... where was i?

2008-04-29T08:10:00.000+08:00

EASTWOOOD CITY IN LOMO

2008-04-25T17:16:00.000+08:00

Anawangin in Lomo

I took lotsa' photos in Anawangin, lots of it were non-digital. I think i was meant to take these photos in Film. I received the Vivitar UWS Tuesday, April 14. I ordered film Wednesday and received it on Friday at that same week. And on Saturday we were off to Anawangin. So you see, it was fate who brought me and these pictures together! haha!

nagsusunog ng balat

San Antonio, Zambales

Anawangin, Zambales

lemon tree

hello, manong boatman

the earth is around and so is the sun

all photos are available in http://flickr.com/chaiilayosa

2008-04-24T08:09:00.000+08:00

lots of things to do today. this has been a busy week. my laundry is 10-feet deep now. i wish my pocket is too, but no, i'm penniless once again, ladies and gentlemen. i subscribed to a Pro account in Flickr. It's a thousand peso a year, that's in US dollar converted to the current peso rate. I think it's cheap because it's around Php 1,300 to subscribe for a year in DeviantArt and PBASE's one year subscription will only give you 500Mb while flickr will give you UNLIMITED uploads for a year for only a few cents more. and Flickr looks good. Hehe. Anyway. Mitch, my good friend is in the hospital now. Kidney issues. I feel bad. It's important we take care of our health. Today i'm going to pick-up my mom at the airport. Meet up with Adrian in the afternoon, he's got a business proposal and go to Saguijo with college friends at 9pm. I haven't slept yet and I think I won't have sleep for the next 24 hours but it's okay. I like it when i'm busy. I don't get the chance to overthink and be overly melodramatic. Hehe.

tata!

2008-04-22T04:37:00.000+08:00

I love Zambales. It has so much to offer. They've got mountains, beaches, great hospitable people and a very rich culture. I spent my weekend in Zambales for the 2nd time around. This time though I went to Anawangin, a beach camp. We went camping and swimming in the beach, got drunk over a cheap tequila, climbed a mountain and viewed the island from there. It was a great diversion from a stressful life in the city. I got tipsy and slept like a fetus in the sand. I didn't change clothes fro 24 hours. My underwear was full of sand. It was just fun, fun and fun. We had lots of food, we cooked it through little cook sets. I took photos through my film camera mostly: Vivitar Ultra Wide Slim. I did shoot through my Nikon for a bit. I found a new Nikonian friend Jess, he taught me to do Manual Mode and what Shutter Speed/Aperture to use. The downside though was that Mitch wasn't feeling well, so she missed out most of the fun part.

Nonetheless, it was a cheap trip. All my Zambales have been, actually.

BUS fare: mnl to San Antonio, Zambales : Php 227.00
BOAT fare: San Antonio to Anawangin: Php 266.00 (3 people per boat)
CAMP SITE FEE: Php 50.00
FOOD FEE: Php 100.00
BUS FARE: San Antonio to Olongapo : Php 37.00
BUS FARE: Olongapo to Mla: 290.00

TOTAL : Php 970.00

photos are available on my Flickr Page: http://flickr.com/chaiilayosa

2008-04-14T16:34:00.000+08:00

2008-04-13T18:17:00.000+08:00

L'AMOUR JE VEUX

yesterday before i prepared for a supposed meet-up with friends i cried a river. i was looking at pictures of a couple's get-away in Bohol and suddenly i couldn't help the tears. *teRs. It was followed by a long shower because i spent most of the time in the bathroom crying. i was questioning everything again. i was loosing hope. and sadly no happy music could mellow the emotion down.

i remembered mitch's question when i was thinking out loud about what i'm going to do when i get home..."So yan ba ginagawa mo everyday? iniisip kung gagawin mo pag-uwe?" i quickly defended myself, "Uh, not really, minsan lang.. me lakad naman ako mamaya pero tinatamad ako e.." i felt the Loser feeling kicked in.

then I found myself in front of the computer. no e-mail from anyone special, nothing but junk mails from FRIENDSTER saying: So and so wants to share an application! no SMS but silly forwarded ones. There's no one to share my love for photos with, no one to share my addiction to the new and upcoming bands with high potential, no one to go to gigs with... then i see this couple taking a vacation in Bohol. one of the place i consider a paradise. Seeing them happy and so in love breaks my heart to pieces. then i thought of all the meaningless relationships i've had the past couple of years, i started asking, what did I do wrong? what happened? was my ego too annoying? was i not caring enough?

i'm feeling better now though. i cleaned the toilet this morning. and the sink too! and the marble floor. i also picked up by brother at the airport which is just a stone-throw away from where i live. i watched Ocean's 12 and half of Ocean's 13 because it started to bore me. "every loss is an opportunity in disguise" --- a line i remember from Ocean's 13.

(:

2008-04-11T12:52:00.000+08:00

to a shithead

if i don't mean a shit to you,
then you don't mean a shit to me
baby i'm free and you're not
don't confuse friendship with lust

honey, i can play stupid
any time you'd like
to demean me though
is not your right

you broke my heart

2008-04-10T11:51:00.000+08:00

astig

i'm totally bored.

for some reason, i can't think anything to do or anything to think about.

watch a movie? ugh, watched it all!
light a cig? done that.
take pictures? the view is ugly.
calculate my finances? uber-boring!
read a book? not in the mood.
surf the web? can't think of anything that interests me.
text? no one to exchange text messages with.
write something? same as Reading A Book.
cook? too much effort.

i am definitely, superbly, unbelievably, BORED! Halp!

P.S.

i learned how to spell ITINERARY today! haha! i used to spell it as "itenerary."

Bisay'a jud ka day oy! haha!

Listening to: Mi Karinsay by Cambio

2008-04-05T13:54:00.000+08:00

i used to be able to write pretty easily about my day. my life. the little things i notice. everything that happens to me seemed to be pretty exciting and brand new that even while commuting i am already thinking of things to blog about. i realized i am very transparent. when i'm silent it means i've got nothing to say. when i'm happy you will definitely hear me singing. when i'm interested you better be ready with answers to my questions. when you irritate me i wouldn't talk to you or even look a you in the eye. when it comes to blogging, i blog about what i think and feel truthfully. it's like being naked in front of the entire computer-literate human race. but then lately, i've gone through several life turning events in my life and I never got the will to blog about it. and sometimes i think it's so not me. but then again maybe it's much better that way. i need to retreat from being overly emotional over things that are way too personal. otherwise it becomes funny.

2008-04-03T00:52:00.000+08:00

quarter life

what do you know? i just turned twenty-five!

2008-03-29T16:25:00.000+08:00

after work today i went to accompany Mitch to Carriedo to get an NBI ID. it turned out NBI is closed. for pete's sake, a government agency is closed Saturday morning. Anyway, there's no chance to be blue because i was in Carriedo, my heaven! haha! so i went around, and went inside several photo supply shops. i was drooling. budget is frickin' tight at this point and i SO want those vintage cams, DSLR accessories, lens and flash guns! man, i got a pretty expensive hobby.

Anyway, i went to this small store that doesn't have a name. i went drooling over the Film SLR's and went asking question to this guy who seem to own it. I asked if I could sample one, and he asked "are you going to buy it today?" I said "No," he said "come back when you can buy it and i'll let you sample it" pretty rude. But, i didn't mind him. I was s fuckin' elated like as if those cams were chocolate cakes!

ebay won't let me buy anything, for some reason. so Hidalgo is my only hope.

Anyway#2, i'm obssessing over Meteor Garden again. I've watched several korean, chinese, and Japanese series but Meteor Garden still sticks in my head. I like the "feel" of the series, i guess. melodramatic. i am indeed melodamatic. but it isn't just about how two people fall in love and fight for it, it's also about life, basically. it shows the importance of hard work, friendship, family, power, child-likeness, and zest for life. i like the way the characters are build-up.

2008-03-24T08:51:00.000+08:00

a new refreshed goal:

COLLECT VINTAGE TOY CAMERAS!

2008-03-23T06:14:00.000+08:00

Two Lovers In Mind [Flaming Pear Filter Edit]

:D

2008-03-21T11:47:00.000+08:00

Things that made me happy & thankful for:

an uber-generous salary increase & bonus
hence, my new phone: Nokia 5310 Xpress Music [expandable memory (up to 4 gig) and 2 Megapixels camera] sweeeeet enough, for me
new friends! i got a new team now, so i get to know new folks. i tell you, the world is full of diverse individuals
my revived addiction to lomo. yay! yes, my lomo passion did die for a while. I got totally depressed with the five rolls that went to waste!
i found a new lomo buddy, my college friend: Clint!!! yey! he's in dumaguete though, but his zest and his art inspires me a lot these days

Things that made me sad and lo':

realizing that i haven't gotten into a serious relationship since jk. i feel alone and afraid. i might become a spinster
the awareness that nothing is going to happen between me and eman. it's not that i have feelings for him, it's just that i promised myself i'm going to save myself for someone I can build my future with. and that i'm not going to commit immoral acts
the long and ardous travel time from home to work and vice versa. although i get to hitch in someone else's car sometimes, it's a pain in the arse
i don't know money management and it kills me to think that I haven't got a dime in my savings account
Windows issue: dual boot. i can't take it off and it slows my computer down, plus not to mention the ripples on my screen which i still couldn't figure out. it makes me dizzy!
I haven't been able to watch a gig throughout the entire month of March! **Sadness**

Listening to: Superfriend by Rivers Cuomo

"...rain, rain go away, come again another day,

cos i've got a friend tonight,

a Superfriend to makes things right..."

2008-03-17T14:24:00.000+08:00

during days like this when I'm loosing inspiration; when i feel alone and worthless; when I feel as if I got nothing to live for... I like looking at pictures. tThis time I chanced upon someone from my friendster friend's list... it's a family picture...

uso pa pala toh?

2008-03-16T11:59:00.000+08:00

hello ubuntu!

(:

it's lovely. haven't figured out though how to play my mp3's. hehe.

2008-03-13T07:47:00.000+08:00

2008-03-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

Last week, due to a work-related situation, I missed to watch NARDA's One Night Only gig at Saguijo. If you haven't noticed "yet" I'm one of NARDA's biggest fan, despite the sudden disbandment last year. Their albums and EP's are my most prized possessions and my work station has their poster on it so I could see them everyday. So missing That gig was a total let-down.

But then again, I need not worry no more because Rain Contreras is here to save my day! (lousy lousy Intro, I know) haha! Mr. Contreras is one of my most favorite gig-photog. It's awesome that he likes Narda as much as I do, I think. So without further ado, please click on this LINK which would lead you to a blissful reminiscent of the night that Was. It's a slideshow of Mr. Contreras' shots at Narda's One Night Only gig last March 6, 2008.

These photos make me cry... *tears

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raincontreras/sets/72157604071326397/show/

P.S. Also included in the line-up was Taken By Cars, Ang Bandang Shirley & Us 2 Evil & Pedicab!

2008-03-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

Nikkor 50mm f/1.2

DROOOOOLLL!!! :p~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want one!

Specifications:

Lens Focus: Manual
Closest Focusing: 0.5m/1.7ft
Filter Attachment size: 52mm
Hood: HS-12. HR-2

2008-03-11T08:59:00.000+08:00

i don't want to give any more comment about the Binibining Pilipinas incident, i just want to say:

"HOE MY GOD,"

PUTA, DIYOS KO!

2008-03-10T14:19:00.000+08:00

"Have you ever woken up suddenly from a very vivid dream and the first thing that came to your mind was, “Frak. I’m alone.”?

Not alone-alone. I mean, in a sense, when you came to consciousness at that moment, you just know that there will be no message waiting on your phone, there was nobody whose call you missed, there was no one who missed you while you slept. And that is just infinitely sad....

I miss him because I know I will never love someone like I loved him. from here on out, I would be cautious, I will not be as free. In my dreams I can still pretend that time had stood still, that I wasn’t hurt, that I still don’t know better.

But I do, and that is a curse. Human beings are programmed to learn from their mistakes, and though I wish I hadn’t, I know I can only offer a different kind of love now. Not better, not less, but different. And that different would not be the same. (I know, duh statement. But it’s true.) Worse thing is, I don’t even know how to start loving again. I immerse myself in different kinds of people, looking for someone to see me and love me, but there is no one. I am alone.....

I think there is no other word to express the depth of that feeling. Sad. Sadness. Despair is not quite right, because in despair, you would have a certain sense of longing. Sorrow is not quite the word, because in sorrow you would have to had lost something. Sadness is more of a state of being. A cruise on a still still boat with this emotion as the air and water. It swallows you sometimes, other times it hits you hard, like a slap of cold wind and keeps you cold throughout the ride. It is beautiful, but it’s beauty is not what you should wish on anyone.

A year ago I said I was okay, that I finally have my life on track. Thing is, there is no track. There is no way, manual, to-do list you have to read in order to live your life right. There is no formula to being happy. There are just snippets, air-pockets, of emotion you go through as you try to navigate. There is a goal, but there are too many ways to get to that goal, and it hurts your chances more when you can’t see what that goal is, or where it is......"

It is taken from a blog i had randomly browsed. A Complete Guide To Insanity: Chapter One, (denice). Sad but true. She wrote the perfect words for it.

2008-03-08T11:11:00.000+08:00

The importance of saying No.

Bow*

The Girl, she had it. The heat was rising, and the feeling was perfect. The Boy, he called the shots. Perhaps caught up in a thunder bliss.

Nevertheless,

Morality is not just a black book that the old folks follow. It serves the greater good. The Girl, she made a choice. Tonight she sleeps alone.

~~~~~~~~~ 3/8/2008 11:22 am

2008-02-29T21:41:00.000+08:00

there are plenty of things i want to do before 2008 ends. this post should have been at the beginning of the year but I haven't really thought about what i really want to do until now; better late than never.

Anyway, here's my list:

1) buy extra lenses. yes, it's expensive but i think it's a good investment. i want to get a 50mm f/1.8 lens for night shots, because i love watching gigs and the f/4.5 just wouldn't do the trick i wanted with the shots. so, this lens would be a lot helpful. i also need to get the 55-200mm lens VR! yes i like shooting at gigs but i also like shooting sports events. the adrenaline rush is SO great! and with a VR lens, i could soon get a telephoto, maybe? *drool*

2) dive. i have been dying to do that here for eons! i just couldn't find a buddy to dive with. now i think i've found some, thanks to DPP, i might be able to do that this year. and oh, i don't have mask & snorkel & fins, so i gotta get those asap!

3) more lomo cams! i'd like to get a leica. or a colorsplash because it uses a 135mm film. hehe.

4) Cellular Phone. yes, i need one.

5) iPod. i NEED one asap! i just lost my mp3player, so..

6) MORE out of town trips. i'd like to go to Vigan, Subic, Anilao & ...more.

2008-02-29T02:23:00.000+08:00

click to enlarge image and read text on the picture.

my co-worker Mitch found out that when you type my name in Google, the result would be my old PBase account, which has my old college pictures. The ones when we were in underwater diving training, and I was SO skinny. haha! Last month, i browsed through it and found this message on the Guestbook. I was shocked. I don't think I"ve read that before. That message was made in April 3, 2005. I turned 22 that day. I can only *sigh* good memory, but Love doesn't really conquer all, does it?

:)

*listening to Sade's No Ordinary Love

it's B.S., baby

2008-02-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

this is one of those days when i get to use the words from the 16 Blocks flick... "Life's too long."

gloomy day. my heart is on the ground. I was supposed to go to this gig in Saguijo featuring the electro-duo-band Miami, but i just couldn't get myself to do anything. and I'm sick of crying. I only wish something could take away these blues.

what do I do?

2008-02-28T12:13:00.000+08:00

Alone - The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo is a kick-ass album. I'm loving every track in it. I got the album late last year i think, but i haven't gotten the chance to really listen to it. now that i got the time, I can't get my ears off it and I am dying to purchase an iPod!

"come walk with me, to the world we love sooo mmuuccchhh!"

2008-02-27T05:04:00.000+08:00

*randon thoughts*

why do i make the wrong choices?

sometimes crying helps.

2008-02-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

Changes

Next week i will be transferred to the Eastwood City office, and I don't know how to take it. Clearly, Pasay office has been home to me and this has been my comfort zone. I have friends in the Eastwood office but my travel would be much of a hassle, let alone dangerous, especially at night.

And of course, I can't help but think that I would not see some of my co-workers as often as I used to because they've been assigned to other departments. I can't help but think that when I go to work on Monday it will be a whole different environment. They might boast that their office is clean and prople are tidy in there, but nothing beats the freedom I enjoy in here. It's a sad affair.

2008-02-26T08:31:00.001+08:00

Mong with the Sandwich Toy @ the RX Concert Series

2008-02-24T05:45:00.000+08:00

i lost my MP3 player yesterday.

although it's relatively CHEAP but it's MY MP3 player! it's my life! i can't live without it!

Me & Mitch were in RED RIBBON yesterday. We were gonna get our hair cut. (i got bang again! whoopeee! to go with my sneakers, haha! and watch a JAP ELECTRO DUO GROUP NEXT WEEK! that's another story) Anyway, i brought my mp3player with me, like i always do, and then we left RED RIBBON and headed to DIGIPRINT, which is just a few meters away and I had my 120 films developed which only took around 2 minutes. and when i got out, i noticed i don't have the mp3player anymore! so I went back to RED RIBBON because I was dead sure i left it there. When I got there my table had been buzzed and it's empty! I asked the service crew guy who buzzes tables and he said he hadn't seen one. I asked the Guard, the Supervisor, no go... GODDAMN, it's gone! why can't we freakin' leave a thing for 8 minutes in one place?!

I LOVE my mp3player. you have no idea. it has this "sentimental value" because i bought it through the first GIFT CHECK i was given by the company i work in. It was a prize that I'm so proud of. I worked harder for that prize than what the company pay me for!

I guess someone is telling me to live off my music for a bit. Y'know, just go by my day listening to the sound of vehicles on the streets at night, the "konduktor" in buses when he scrambles the coins to check on who has paid for tickets or not (that is so annoying!), or a group of people gossiping, or the FM radio station that the bus drivers tune in to, playing music of Willie Revillame, a pure EAR-ache!

Geez, I will definitely miss it.

2008-02-21T16:52:00.000+08:00

INTER-STATE LOVE SONG

I am currently listening to Interstate Love Song, re-made by Velvet Revolver, which doesn't really differ much from the original because it's still Scott Weiland on the vox. And at this time I miss my old friends. I miss my hometown - CdO.

Today I helped out Kristin with the Extraction Thimble she has been looking for in over a month! It's for her Thesis in graduate school, a study of meiofauna in some part of the Visayaz. And she said when she graduate she's going to put my name on her Thesis' acknowledgment for helping her out. I told her about the crisis i went through with my job which kept me totally stressed out, mentally and emotionally. And she said she kind of envied us, her college buddies whose already earning our own money, because we could go to different places if we want to without asking from our parents. I told her she's luckier, she's practicing the course she took in college. And don't have to deal with bosses at that.

I checked Friendster, which is usually the site where i see faces from way way back. Surprisingly, I learned AL, my drummer friend is now a certified nurse! Well, what do you know? when we first met he was jumping from one course to another. The last course I remember he took was Sociology. And he seemed pretty devoted to it. I couldn't have guessed he would end up as a Nurse. And I must say his love life is pretty cool. His girl and him are so sweet in their photos. They look so in love. Oh, I'm envious!

Well, of course there's my ex, Jake... I must say he also wounded up pretty well. It was a good decision to break up with me. Now he works as a graphic artist and he's kind of a senior in his little graphic artists' group and I think he likes working there. Not to mention his girlfriend sits just across his office table. Officemate-lover, cool. I even saw this one picture he posted in Multiply with him and his girl, His shirt said I LOVE BETH and his girl's shirt said I LOVE JK. That is just so freaking sweet. I"m so happy for him. I don't know if I've told him that yet, we haven't exchanged words in a while but I hope he reads this so he knows.

Chanel. My college friend who is in med school right now. She used to work in a call center for a bit but then bad weather made her give in, she quit and focused on studying the human anatomy, or whatever they study in med school. I checked out her Friendster and there she goes, a picture with her handsome boyfriend, with a caption that says something that connotes their 1-year anniversary. Wow, I remember how much i love anniversaries and monthsaries and stuff. I might be a little boy-ish but I believe in celebrating every special moments in our lives. We only have one life to live and I tell you, it's too damn short. So we gotta' celebrate even the littlest special thing. According to a priest from a mass I heard last Sunday, Today is called the present because it's a Gift. A Gift is a Present. Nice, eh?

Rocky, my cousin! who would have thought he would actually think of joining Priesthood? That he would heed God's call? although he's a bit gay-ish at times and very philosophical, but I wouldn't have ever imagined him with the Columbian monks. That part of the story though hasn't been completed yet so I'll save the rest of the story in the not-so-distant future blog.

Well, I'd like to tell more stories about my old friends, but I'm not exactly fully aware of the current whereabouts of most of them.

About a few days ago when the News about our work situation hit us, I thought my best option was TO GO BACK HOME. But then I realized, CdO may still be CdO, but I would be in a completely different state or situation. Therefore, I wouldn't be able to bring back the past, chances are? I wouldn't be happy. It wouldn't be the same without the people I had in my life before. Those people had moved on with the lives they chose and they seem pretty happy with it. Now This, is the life I chose and I must say I'm pretty happy too. I don't care that I'm single and still waiting for my prince charming in knight and shining armor to sweep me off my feet. I don't care if it would take me forever to find him. I have friends here who care for me so dearly and family who is within reach, if and when I decide to reach out. I also get to do the things I love most like go to gigs and be a total fangirl with the rest of the fangirls and boys; and take photos, lots of it! Here, my dream is within my reach. All right, you may call me a slacker, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Damn, this song never gets tired, it still brings back those memories!

2008-02-20T10:41:00.000+08:00

The Beatles' music is very therapeutic. It's just amazing how one band can move millions of people's lives for 5 decades and counting. I am watching Across the Universe as I speak and from what I've seen so far it's not a movie I would totally love but the soundtrack is a sure fire hit. I love The Beatles and listening to their music makes me cry right now.

I read a nice quote today, "a guy that truly loves his girl, doesn't have to unbutton her shirt just to see a better view of her heart." That's actually from a text message from Badeth. It's so true and it's a very nice play on words.

All I actually want to do right now is to cry my heart out, but my roommate and her beau is in the same room I'm in so I just cry inside. I want to bury my head in the pillow and cry myself to sleep. There are days when I'm like happy happy joy joy, there are days when I am so determined, some days I fill fulfilled, at times satisfied or content. And there's a day like this, when I feel the world passes through me without a damn care. Thank god for music. It saves my soul. It keeps me sane. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without it.

2008-02-20T06:48:00.000+08:00

i need to rethink things a bit today. i don't want to sulk into the big hole of depression. i need to have a concrete plan that i would actually believe in.

work sucks, just like how the government sucks.

2008-02-19T07:31:00.000+08:00

Once Upon A Time, There Was FRIENDSTER! :D

i'm at the office, thinking of better things to do and realizing i'm getting paid to not do anything: a fleetig joy. then I remembered, Friendster! there's isn't really much on it now because i've gotten tired of it, i think. But what do I know? Memories make this lonely soul happy. What you are about to see are the Testimonials my friends made when I was still Addited to Friendster! :D

let's start off from the beginning.

HIGHLANDER - online buddy
@12/19/2003 2:47 am

aguy walay testi! *evil grin* Hehehehe. Chaii is a good person, with lots of
fans hehehehhe. Let me see what else...oh yeah she's smart too, very smart and nice to talk to... see ya in the chatroom Chaii behave urself ok? LOL ty for d testi

APOL - college friend
@01/31/2004 9:34 pm

si star?!........ bei......... a
really, really cool person!! sobra! definitely a cool chick! a hard core chick!! mysterious au... buotan, gwapa, dili sumo... simple... choy au kastorya... stre, libre paghuman nimo basa ani ha?! ayaw bayag kalimti ug butang ug "si apol ni" didto ha?! pinakatsada raba to noh?! dats! salamat au sa testi, choy au... mag- add ra kog lahi nga testimonial sa sunod! God bless chaii... peace out! :-)

AMOR - college friend
@03/1/2004 4:46 pm

E*******? ooppsss...sorry! u might not like to be called by this name, i just dont remember ur nickname. well3x... i've come to know E******* bcoz we bcame classmates, seatmate wayback 2 yrs. ago (tagal na noh?) Our class is quite boring so..as expected aside of being classmates, we bcame CHATmates. Tabi japon kau ni sya na person (but with sense). I don't know but even if we only meet for a short while..we just sort of click. i dunno...maybe that's the mystery of friendship. Basta, always remember that u've got a friend in me. Im still the same "amor" that u used to know (cguro mas guapa lang kron..heheh...and mas assuming!). Hope to see u very soon.

LAWRENCE - online buddy ( where the hell is he now?)
03/9/2004 1:21 am

E*******? Who's E*******? I think I'm in the wrong testimonial, hehe, just kidding chaii.... Hmmmmm, what can I say about chaii? She's Smart(not Globe) and she's nice, a great dancer? and likes acid jazz music. I remembered one time when I was looking for a dance partner for our P.E. finals, she volunteered to be my partner but I guess I was being shy that time and declined her offer. Well anyway, I guess this is it for I'm not good at describing people or making a testimonial... :)

ROCKFORD - cousin
03/24/2004 7:45 pm

chay! hu.. what the hell whoever she is i think she is too much malicious to the things around her. especially the physical emotional transparency, these human wannabe is a great being to be wit even though she has irregularities about being a feminist to a masculine type of a girl. if she is worthy to be one...they say. i' don't want to comment cause it may upset her mother, but that's her almost, sitting beside me right now threathening me with a double edge sword stick in my goddamm...! throat! always if any of her kindness has caught her imaginary boyfriends real
identity will disavow any knowledge of her action, these will self distruct in
zero second good luck chay!

i'm his eg-agaw rocky, wazzup! wazzup!

Chanel - college buddy
04/25/2004 6:22 am

S, is the coolest girl in the whole
wild wide world.!!! grabe.. sakay gyud
ni sha ug habalhabal makaapas las
laguindingan.. hehehe.. s, is cute,
sexy and chatters kaayo.. fun kaayo ni
siya.. swerte iya jowaers sa iya..
hayahay kaayo! kauban nako ni sha sa
kawakwakan in the world.. hehehe..
gapangadlawon mi ani.. Sige, stay nice
and pretty!! tc:)

DENCIO - online buddy
05/8/2004 8:28 pm

chaii!!...shes a nice person..maski sa
chat rami nag ila ani several yers
ago..hehe..bugoy-bugoy sad ni sya..pro
pretty!!..walay paki, naay pagka
manhid ni sya..hehehe....jok
chaii!!....btaw chaii is a all around
person, shes good!! :).....chaii kita
kits ra ta!!...ingat!! :)

ERVALZ - brother o' brother
01/11/2005 8:26 pm

A very sweet girl! Ayuha na imu thesis
ha? Say, Make Your Mama Proud!

Highly intellectual who comes through every challenge... Ga-graduate na nga yan ngayong March, 'di ba chai? Put your career first before love.... All else should follow... Be wise as you
always are and keep your head up when you walk!

CHANEL ulet
04/4/2005 1:22 am

stre.. happy birthday...nakalimot ko sa imong telephone number...grabe... gibutangan ba ug itom akong eyes.. hehehe... la ko load na, mao la ko ka greet.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY STRE... STAY HAPPY.. STAY UNIQUE. STAY THE WAY YOU ARE.. WE ROCK... peace out! ayt?!?
mwahhhhhhhhhhhhxxxxxxxxxxx

EDEN
07/5/2005 10:36 pm

hi es... heheh.. es, i-update mo na age
mo!! ang daya mo ha.. matatanda na tau
dito...hmmm... musta manila? : )

PINKY - former co-worker, friends forever :D
08/1/2005 11:02 am

i miss this girl..she's so quite and smart grabe..na perfect nya exam namin sa training ng dtv..grabeee..kakabilib..girl mis ko na mini stpo at bk natin hehehe..hope to see u soon ulit..mis ko na TEAM RAMS...luv u sis ko...

ARGIE - wtf?
09/12/2005 4:30 am

you are a revolutionized entity. notable and arisen. clandestine. elastic. bizarre yet a defined poise. a resonant being of thoughts. justified and impulsive. a demi-god.
good to have you back chaii, just like the old days. now, virtual? guess it's the certainty that bites, you're alive, 120% probability. welcome to the hustle though.
abnormality baby. btw, i have a malformed brain too.
you're great, really. coolness.

DONNA MAY - cousin
09/20/2005 2:36 pm

Chaii,
a bat woman, sleeping beauty naks!!!!, Noreen of Attic CAt hehehe, fave nya to grabeH...pwamiz!, ask nio sha....? w8, tanong ko lang ang cat ba attacker din? hehehehe.......c',)
Serious, to pinsan kong to', eh pa gurl na pa boy hehehe, gets nio?!,basta un na yun.... pero,wanna' thank her Sobwah coz she's a good listener, good friend, good sistah' to me....
Cge na poh na poh next na testi habaan ko nalang parang koreanovela, lyk attic cat...heheheh,.JOKE!!!!! basta lge mo tatandaan na mas matanda ako sau kc pg di mo tinandaan e2 wla kang pinagkatandaan tulad ng ibang mga matatnda jan....heheh gulo ko noh...la me kc masabi eh...basta always keep in touch with GOD...ok
till nxt....lavyah...takeCRE!!!

ARFEL - former co-worker friends forever :D
09/25/2005 11:28 pm

**nakatingin ka sa langit..//.bigla ka na lang napangiti..//na tila isang baliw.. natuwa ka sa iyong nakita..

(*falling star!!*)

*eeeeennnggg!! BLAAGGG!!

(aray!! ansakit.. masama ata ang bagsak ko..)

**at nagulat ka// muntik k na smigaw.. buti na lang nakilala mo ako at sabay sabing..

"..angel ka pala!!?? COOL!!.." :P

chaii, wala din to kwenta.. pero sa totoo lang mabait to dahil lagi nya ko pinapagluto ng cornedbeeeeeefff na aking paborito.. (*masarap.. chunkee!!) seryoso yn sa work kahit na mjo tinatamad na.. aba release lang ng release.. pero seryoso pa rin.. at mararadaman mo na lang ang kanyang precensya pag sya ay kmanta na ibig sabihin sya ay masaya na naman (bat kaya?? hmmmmm).. at speaking of pacensya// hindi to madali mainis.. hindi tulad ng iba don.. kaya lagi ko to iniinis.. pero hindi ko naman mainis.. NAKAKAINIS!!

try visiting her blogsite...

www.littleestrella.blogspot.com

..ul know that this girl is quite impressing.. :)

Cielo - ex's ex?? hehe
10/4/2005 2:31 pm

Chaii? We have something in common... JK the Porn King. I say, JK has great taste in girlfriends. I do not know now though. She is a nice girlfriend talking to an ex-girlfriend. By and by, we are both ex-es now. She really tells a lot of good stuff contributing friction to life.

RON - online buddy
10/13/2005 10:03 am

shhhhhhh calm down and relax. =) life is not that short.

JACK - brother
03/8/2006 2:29 am

Advance Happy Birthday!!!!!!!

Asa akong Regalo..........

jackgwapo(".)

BADETH - former co-worker friends forever :D
03/28/2006 12:04 pm

chaii, aka, amber...hehehe! isa sa mga primyadong miyembro ng rams. mcpag mgrdot...xa ang aming movers conex..kc she's moving on hahah! latian itu! anyways, c chaii ay mhilig mangulit lalo na kpg may gmik ang rams, asahan mong mgttxt yan pra pilitin kan sumama khit wla ka na sa rams/dtv/acs hehehe! miss ko na nga 'to eh...=) nga pla etong c amber, bgla na lng yan mgsasalita sa post nya...pnapgalitan ang srili dhil may nkalimutan xang iremind sa cust amp! she also likes to sing lalo na kpg inspired. ang wlang kupas na especially for you. baliw xa kay bogs...ng pupil...amp! o xa mglulunch na ako...amishu chaiisky! luv yah! =) kitakits sa outing ng acs wehehehe!

TIMMYboy - online buddy/phone pal, hahahha
03/29/2006 12:20 am

She's a great gal.Missed her voice.When would you be back in CDO?

EDEN - baliw
04/11/2006 10:04 pm

FAST FACTS bout Estrella:
-her motto at school was: "better be absent than late
-she's semi-lunatic, and that's what I enjoy most about her; One can talk bout almost anything with her, like, maggot pregnancy, the weirdest sunglasses on the planet, and even how geckos are milked!
-she's dependable on almost everything...just don't depend on her to come on time!
-she's crazy bout so many things: Fiona Apple, e-heads, photography, music, blog, chat, diving, and her _ _!
-She's a good writer...in fact, she's multi-talented... she can play the guitar, she can do the cartwheel for let's say a hundred times, she's a pretty good swimmer with a lifejacket on, she studies while sleeping, she could go without sleep for 5 days and could go on sleeping straight for 5 days too!
-she's a very good friend; one you can spill your guts with anytime even at the most unholy hour...amazingly, she's wide awake most of the time! (Parang naka drugs?)
-what estrella wants, estrella gets! Hehe! fierce!
-eat your heart out stamp collectors! She's got the oldest Philippine stamps ever! And that's what makes her a SECRET multi-millionaire!
-She may look so simple on the outside, but fact is, she's very complicated on the inside!
Tnx for the friendship es, au-au always! Yan ha, bayad na ko! Bwahahah!

ANGEL - former co-worker friends forever :D
06/24/2006 12:49 am

hei gal just want you to know that you're one of my favorite people in the world. I like your "to hell with them" attitude...you don't let things and people affect you in any way. You don't rely your happiness on what people can give you,,you're the kind of person who can be happy with just about anything. When it comes to work well what can I say but "I salute you high flyer" hehe,,,thanks for being nice with me chaii truthfully I really admire u as a person with the way you carry yourself no matter how intimidating things are you stand firmly on your ground. Sometimes we're both in a foul mood but then we still managed to deal with each other's bitchy attitude hehe...yes gurl inuman tayo juz till me when!!!!!!!!!!

CAROL - former co-worler friends forever :D
10/6/2006 4:39 pm

hi! chaii

grabeh nd ko akalain n magiging close kmi n2 kze supladita 2 e, minsan binabara me n2 pro ok lng binabara ko rin nman cya e, bwahahaha!!!..she is one of the good agent in team ramz, idol.. grabeh antakaw n2, lalo n ung fav nlang Brazo n krol, este brazo de mercedez.. hehehe... chika chika kmi n2 remember ng nsa mcdo tau ang kulit noh ng picture2?? bitin nga e, kze nd kmi prehaz ng sked...mabait cya kng s mabait , mataray kung s mataray.ahahaha...pgnagkikita kmi cnasbi ko ang taba mo n CHAI as in Chubby CHAiina..hehe..yngtz prti khit nsa dell k na..GOD BLESS. luv yah my fwend.....

JOHN - present co-worker
10/19/2006 3:36 pm

Codename: "ICEMAN"
HI! This is JohntheCuteone:

Thanks for being a friend of mine. Hope you don't mind keeping my picture on this account. HEHEHEHE

By the way, you know what you are so kulit sometimes.
"Did you get what I'm saying?'"
"Did you got that?"
"Does that make sensation?"
AH! Ok-

On the other hand-sa kaliwang kamay
ika nga.
Slamat for being my batch mate/friend
at Dell training..
(**,)

IRENE - former co-worker friends for ALWAYS :D
10/25/2006 12:26 pm

remember m
remember e

put them together remember Maria Estrella that is long for chaii hehehe what can i say about this gurl

funkista daw siya pero mas conservative pa sakin...mabait daw xa (pag naghihilik na joke )

sexy yan dati nang una ko makita.. now? mas lalong sexy!

nga pala beware malakas yan (kumain at uminom) pero xempre marunong yan manlibre oist yung breakfast namin ni angel

chaii is a friend, a listener, a woman, a lady indisguise... a sober, music lover(rock lang po at wag papahawakin ng mike) PEACE, a humble and meek person,

this is girl is smart and already knows what she wants and needs to do with her life she knows her priorities.. she is smart and WiSe

she is also sensitive and girl i know deep inside you is a weak person try to reach out hindi mo kailangan solohin lahat im just here no matter what i may look damsel in distress right now but, im more capable to give strength for others if in need specially if that happens to be you luv you tc and GOD BLESSSSSS

Rockford - cousin
10/25/2006 3:57 pm

Hello Pechay!

MuzTA! na ang kinabuhi?

Well to tell you all, chaii is a dear cousin of mine with her own perspective in life especially if you talk about her personal decisions.

Chaii or Pechay hehehehe i would call her is an expert diver.....For the information of everyone out there chaii has already made several dives here in the waters of MINDANAO, and an expert of it.

Maria E******* V******* L*****, that's the real name behind the Chaii cover name.

It has already been a while since this petite girl visited Mindanao particularly CDO.....chaii mao ra gihapon ang Cagayan....Cagayan gihapon....hehehhee

Chaii, kumusta ku sa imo mga pretty friends ha? hehehehehe kami duha ni JOY aku uyab!

Rockford!

Soli Deo Basta! GOD Is Enough!

ARTHUR - former co-worker
11/4/2006 3:27 pm

5 THINGS I BET YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT CHAII:

1. THOUGHTFUL SEATMATE - she never fails to remind me whenever i get clueless on our DELL trainings. "Daddy Art, bawal ang pork...."

2. MS. BLOGSPOT/FRIENDSTER - Michael Dell pays her not to undergo Policies training but to let her open her Blogspot/Friendster. Go figure that!

3. THE LITTLE GURL LOST - during breaks, u often see her walking around the office premises with her spaced-out look and slower-than-a-turtle walk. Parang laging low batt. Weird.

4. MS CLEAVAGE - and i don't mean UP there..... Yan ang napapala ng mga fashionistang mahilig sa lowrise!!! PEACE!!!

5. A CARING FRIEND - i have to say something positive about her or else she won't approve my testimonial.

LOVE U CHAII... YOU'RE ONE HELL OF A FRIEND. ACTUALLY, U STOKE THE FIRE IN HELL!!!

------------------end----------------------------

wow. i miss you guys So much. you have no idea. thanks for the friendship & whatnots :D

2008-02-19T06:15:00.000+08:00

no more sappy lovesongs & whatnots! but this track is creeping in.. i've been had

Artist: Death Cab For Cutie

Album: Plans

Year: 2005

Title: Crooked Teeth

It was one hundred degrees
As we sat beneath a willow tree
Who's tears didn't care, they just hung in the air
And refused to fall, to fall

And I knew I'd made horrible call
And now the state line felt like the Berlin Wall
And there was no doubt about which side I was on
Cause I built you a home in my heart
With rotten wood, and it decayed from the start

Cause you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along
No, you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along
I braved treacherous streets
And kids strung out on homemade speed
And we shared a bed in which I could not sleep
At all, woohoo woohoooo

Cause at night the sun in the tree
Made the skyline look like crooked teeth
In the mouth of a man who was devouring us both
You're so cute when you're slurring your speech
But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave

And you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along
No, you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along

I'm a war of head versus heart
And it's always this way
My head is weak, my heart always speaks
Before I know what it will say

And you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along
No, you can't find nothing at all
If there was nothing there all along

---------------

ennndddddd........

2008-02-18T14:09:00.000+08:00

"I'm glad we're still friends."

what is up with people saying "I'm glad we're still friends." i mean, hello? why shouldn't we? sure we slept together and he moved away, had a girlfriend, so fuckin' what? i wasn't hurt at all. i mean, what is really UP with that? i don't understand. can someone fill me in?

i had a friend from the past, who told me "I'm glad we're still friends," in the middle of a conversation and i went, "shouldn't we be?" it's just weird. is it pity on me? because that's the last thing i need... ( the first thing i need is a JOB that pays well and i like but that's off-topic) did he expect me to care or at least be sad when he found the love of his life? because bluntly speaking, i didn't even notice. and when i finally did, i didn't feel a thing. So if he felt that there was no connection between us and he didn't have the balls to tell me that at the time, i actually knew That from the first time i knew him. I know,I'm Psychic. hehe. but we're still Friends because I'm not mad at anyone or anything. I am perfectly where i should be: jobless in a few days... again, that's off-topic, but..

'nuff said.

2008-02-18T13:08:00.000+08:00

crisis at work. crisis in politics. crisis with tax. crisis in movies. crisis with boys. crisis crisis crisis. above-mentioned crisis aren't necessarily my personal crisis, but crisis are crisis and everyone in some way or another has it, as i speak. or write/type for that matter.

anyhoo, my Bike Racing shots got critiqued today, even if i didn't ask for it. and well, it isn't good. only my close friends say i'm good, anyway. they do it to boost my confidence. i love 'em. but negative criticism is Good. the only thing is that, i already anticipated what they're gonna say. too much saturation, blah blah. so fuckin' what?! i still in the "getting-to-know-each-other" stage with Mong. that's my camera's name... Mong. "ang umangal, panget!" haha. and good thing people noticed that my saturation is too much because otherwise i would have thought it's all okay.

:D

please do visit my photo blog.... http://whatevershoots.blogspot.com

cheers!

2008-02-14T00:38:00.000+08:00

High

I woke up early yesterday to meet up with 9 Sandwich Listers. Destination: UP Sunken Garden, Event: UP FAIR // Sandwich Album Launch: S Marks The Spot. It also marked the band's 10th year anniversary as a band. It was grandeur. It was a magical night. Even though I only get to watch the first half.

There were 2 stages, one was for the bands who played prior to Sandwich’s set. The bands were Taken By Cars, Radio Active Sago Project, Mayonaise, Pedicab, Duster, Cambio, Imago, Hilera and many many many others! The second stage was exclusively for Sandwich's album launch. So while the punk kids were thrashing it out at stage 1, our pack headed to the main stage. but then that didn't save us from the crowd, nor the punk kids...when the black curtain was pulled down at stage 2, the band was already on their rock pose / zaido pose and everyone screamed gloriously. it was a throath-crackling high. It was fanta-bulous! Raims delightfully dedicated Betamax to the sandwich listers! WoooWeeee! we'd die for a single bit of attention, haha!

That night I felt Sandwich was so HUGE. but actually, i've never totally realized how influential and succesful they are until last night. I see them play in small bars like Saguijo or at the mall or Metrowalk but they seem just like normal people. Only that they’re very fancy and good looking. When the curtain was brought down, Raimund kicked the show off with his usual verse: Ang Pagbabalik. What ensued after that was, as aforementioned, glourious screams which would equal to a happy chaos. I was armed with a Nikon D40 loaded with 18-55mm lens but I’ve already expected that I'll be at loss of a decent gig shots. There were bouncers and the steel bars were 2 meters away from the crowd, and it’s really hard to move inside the crowd. Imagine riding the MRT during peak hours only that people are rabid wild.

Marc went on the stage. Unfortunately, the clock hit 10:30 p.m. and I have to go back to work. Marc sang Butterfly Carnival while I was leaving and boy that was so hard. Nevertheless, I was happy as hell. The high was better than chocolate, better than sex.

2008-02-07T06:10:00.000+08:00

change is inevitable. bilog ang mundo. sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down. life has its twists and turns. sometimes it's sweet, and mostly bitter. change, according to the song, is the most constant thing in this world. and we all have the choice on how to take it, either in the negative light or positive. just like how we see a half glass of water. it affects us emotionally that we could hardly ignore it. life couldn't be all that simple, y'know? we couldn't be at our steady comfort place forever. there has to be movement. otherwise, the telephone wouldn't have been invented.

i just feel sad about all these changes that smacked me right in the face, unaware.

2008-02-04T11:30:00.000+08:00

Zambapalooza was a lotta' Fannnnnnnnn!!!!

for more photos, please check: http://flickr.com/photos/skimboardingstudy/

2008-01-29T16:59:00.000+08:00

RED

Today at work, which is to say, around a couple of hours past midnight, i had this customer who wnated to avail of a $50 instant saving promotion off a printer. Only that she had already purchased a printer a couple of days ago on a non-promotional price. And she wants to apply the current promotion to her printer purchase. Normally, we only give her freebies and stuff to make her shut her trap about it but something in me just find it hard to do that. Because this $50 off promotion is actually a collaboration of the company i work with and Mister Big BOss Gates to raise funds for the African casualties of AIDS. So if you buy a certain product with that certain promotion the buyer gets to donate a certain amount to this noble cause. So i my solution was to have the customer return the printer back to us and re-order the promotional printer. My point was that if i give her a throw-in at that point, none of the profit from that purchase will go to the AIDS victims. It's clear as crystal that you have to buy through that promotion to be able to help out. Unfortunately, the customer was insistent and wanted only the promotional discount.

So i consulted my manager about it and his solution was to give out the freebie instead of the cutsomer availing of the promotion, although a little inconvenient, but very noble. And i argued about it with my manager for about 10 minutes. His point was the customer will buy again, the company will still profit from it. My point was, it would defeat the purpose of giving out that promotion. I ended up calling him something like "profiteering" over and over again in IM. that was a bit immature, haha! but i know i have a point. and i know my point is good. If the promotion applies for all products, then the website need not provide pictures of specific products that the customers could buy to join the cause, right?

I just hate it when people use something for their own gain. And i hate people who tolerate this madness. I hate people who are only after the profits, and not the true goal of the cause.

While i was walking down to the laundrymat today thinking about that whole incident, i kind of thought of one thing... because i kind of wonder all the time why i'm here, why bad people are still alive, yknow? but i thought maybe we're here to let other people live. maybe that's the message that Jesus was conveying when he had himself crucified? so we may live. and that we should do the same thing. live so that others may live.

otherwise, oh, what the fuck are we here for?!?

2008-01-27T08:09:00.000+08:00

good morning chaii! :D

i downloaded Picasa yesterday. Version 2.0. So you can edit photos and stuff. So cool. And it also scans all the photos in your HDD so you get to see those long lost pics, hehe, like that one...up. I edited it in Picasa. I also uploaded it to blogger from there. Coolness, eh? Picasa is a Photog's best friend, indeed. hehe. yeah, yeah.. i'm too lazy to open PS. my pc ish sho slow kasshhee.. haha!

OH well, what's new? uhm, i went to Nayong Pilipino today. I took pictures and rode a bike. It's been eons since i rode one so it was pretty exciting. Quite expensive though, 50 pesos/hour man. The thing that struck me the most is that,, the place is a wreck. There were still people there who brought strollers with their baby in it, there were chink kids, or maybe Korean, there were lovers and old married couples. But it hasn't been maintained so well. It was my first time to go there today, even though it's only a walking-distance from where i live. And uh, after which i ate barbeque's and chatted with neighbors. It was also my first time to do that, hehe. Ever since we lived here, me and my roommate only goes home to sleep or watch DVD's.

I also downloaded Quentin Tarantino's DeathProof OST. and I love it!

Oh, I'm excited for this coming week. Xiuxiu and me are going to Zamba, beybeh! She's going ot compete at the churva SkimBoarding Competition! Whooweee! Good Luck gurl... and i'm gonna be her personal Photog! haha! can't wait!

and oh, oh! speaking of "can't wait's," I can't wait to grab a copy of Markus Highway's new album under a Major Record Label. no more Indie stuff, hehe... Behold Rejoice, Surfernando is Here Na! is the album title + Taken By Car's Hoottttt Pandessaaalllll!!!! kidding... Endings Of A New Kind. Guess who produced it man, Mong Alcaraz! the bad boy according to Raims. If you heard Narda's Discotillion, Mong was the culprit. he produced it. One of my favorite albums, which is now still being uber-played on my mp3player. If you see me everyday at work, you would know how attached I am with my mp3player. haha! back to the "can't wait's" Sandwich is also coming out with a new one and it's their tenth year as a band! Wow, way to go! S Marks The Spot is the album title according to Shen.

Anyway, Lloyd hasn't texted. fuck you lloyd. and i just want to take this off my chest... I HATE PRETENTIOUS BLOGGERS!!!!

2008-01-26T14:18:00.000+08:00

fan-art,,, YEAH!

2008-01-25T12:11:00.000+08:00

Once again, Mong is love...

NU107 Bar Tour,
The Hard Rock Cafe, Makati
feat. Kinetic Daze, Taken by Cars
& Sandwich!

(9:00 p.m., January 24, 2008)

thanks to Bernz for the free tix!
That's Riiggghhttt!!!

Ch-ch-check out my Multiply for more of the camwhoring!

2008-01-14T10:03:00.000+08:00

mIRC, ahoy!

me and my brother were chatting the other night. he bought this laptop and he got internet connection, so he's pretty much online as much as i am. and what he love the most is music and he learns downloading on-line through *cough* me. well, that' s because at the time that the internet got so popular he was on his "struggling stage" so he never got to learn it. so i taught him to download music through MULTIPLY because that's very convenient, right? unfortunately MULTIPLY had shut off this downloading option so he came up to me with this dilemna. hence, i told him to use mIRC instead, because for me it's the second most convenient way to download. although i kind of understand it could be a bit complicated for someone my "brother"... i'm not undermining him, it's just that he's best in doing a whole lot of other things except this. but anyway, i asked him to try mIRC, i thought he'd say "what's that?" but NO! he said "i got that." so i thought, "whow, you're not the novice that i think of after all." so i asked him to go to #mp3download... and uh he said he cant connect, i said try to find a different server, go to Options>Server... he couldn't find it. So i tried to do a screen shot of my desktop to guide him through it... Here it is:

he he he he... but i didn't get to send it to him. that was my last option. he got pissed before i could send him that. told him i'll go to his place and teach him that soon. next week.

2008-01-10T12:26:00.000+08:00

The one with the babies....

just when me, Jeff and Dindi were planning on how to spread the news about a strong suspiscion that Michelle got storked, Badeth gave birth to a baby girl named Alyssa Rosalina. Michelle and Badeth don't know each other but i just want to connect the events in my life :p The former cleverly answered "Si Jennilyn lang ang buntis, hindi ako! kuya Boy [Abunda], hindi po totoong nagpalaglag ako kaya pumunta ako'ng Amerika!" and i just dived into hysterical laughter [exaggeration, of course]. Anyhoo, at the office i still hear my officemates from another team seated right on the next block from us say "friendship" or "friend" to each other like 10 GaZillion times and it never fails to fascinate me how they could come up with all this gay lingo as if the dictionary isn't thick enough for them. And oh, back to the new born! Alyssa.. well, we're going to visit her tomorrow and i'm going to bring my fancy camera, weee! i like baby pictures! I hope she will still be able to see the pictures i will take of her when she turns 18. And oh! Tina tina tina is going to give birth on April, so... lotsa' babies this year! Yoohooo!

2008-01-08T12:30:00.000+08:00

3 rolls, washed out

i am mourning today. this is a tragedy. i received the 3 rolls i requested to be developed in digiprint and guess what? all photos were washed out. man that's 12x3=36 fuckin' shots! kill me now~! and by the looks of my economic status at this point in time i couldn't afford to waste rolls of films; and more importantly, they were shots of the important people in my life. they were mugshots, man! some of 'em i may not see agian for along time and none of them... none... made it... i am SO going to read the manual again.

ugh. i know what i did wrong. i think i exposed the fuckin' films.

2008-01-06T17:22:00.000+08:00

I feel so DeathCab-ish today.

Jai was nice enough to watch the Death Cab for Cutie Night with me last night. Spazzkid played. Awesome. It's the second installment of DeathCab for Cutie Night, on the first installment Eggboy played. Held in Route 196. It so happened that me and jai were starving when we got there so we got to try their Foodar! and it's yum! yuM!

The place was jam-packed!

It was Stereolala's first gig, it was also my first time to see 'em...

SPAZZKID's set...

Twin Lobster, he's good...

The Dorques, woohoo!

Jai.. Kebs! parang nasa starbucks lang a! haha

meeeeee.... mooooo.....

unfortunately, my cam's battery died on me, so.. wasn't able to take photos after The Dorques' performance. deym!

When the show was done Jai couldn't brush off the idea of missing the chance to make a move on this girl who sat accross him. Me? I was satisfied with the music. Mikey of Ciudad sang I Will Follow You Into The Dark and although he warned us not to cry, I almost did.

p.s. if you want to see the entire set, check mi multiply amigo!

2008-01-03T13:34:00.000+08:00

blissss...

i'm back! home at last! alone at last! i'll be thinkin' about work again. it's 2008! yey! i'll be a year older 4 months from now. i am still single. ha! ha! i was gonna' post something that i stupidly titled: A Soliloquy About Last Night, but uh, i unknowingly erased it from my mobile's outbox. bummer. Anyhoo, my vacation was a blast. met up with my friends in college last night and we had an assful of cam-whoring. we ate out, sang SPICEGIRLS' ole' happy sappy songs and ran in the rain.

this is my blisssss...

a conversation from last night:

Kristin: Bai. aha na diay si JK karon? (where is JK now?)
me: Naa na siya's bag-ong uyab bai... (he has a new girlfriend)
Kristin: Bai, dile mana akong akong pangutana... (that wasn't my question)
*laughs*

BOOOO!!! hahahahah

2008-01-01T20:08:00.000+08:00

happy new year to each and everyone of us---losers, confused, dazed, crazy, undecided, low self-esteem, chaotic, unloved, unbending, those of us with corrupted youth, heart-broken, life-broken, mind-broken, whatever-broken... may your 2008 be the way you want it to be!

2007-12-30T11:12:00.000+08:00

I'm home. Cagayan de Oro home, that is. It's just that everything here seems so small. I don't know why. There are some changes but mostly it's all the same. My room though is clean. Gone are the days when you walk right into it you would know that it's my room because it's a mess and the walls are full of the stuff of my youth. I feel nostalgic most of the time. I also wonder if I didn't leave home. But then again, there are no regrets. Even if it meant leaving the one that only mattered in my life at that time. In return I had plenty of friends and went to plenty of places and learned plenty of things. Now I'm looking forward to a fruitful 2008. I've got plenty of plans! I bought me a DSLR, it's a step.

(;

2007-12-27T14:26:00.000+08:00

i am looking forward to buying the album ENDINGS OF A NEW KIND from Taken By Cars. They're HAMAZIING! Their music is progressive/electronic/indie/punk/new wave-ish/trip-hop-ish/postpunk/dance!

lovvveessss iiittttt!!!

2007-12-26T19:46:00.000+08:00

today i just couldn't sleep. i tried shutting my eyes for 5 minutes. but nope the slumber feeling seem to be on vacation. it rained in the morning but it seized to make me feel drowsy. instead i was hyped up. oh man, i hate days like this because it makes me want to smoke and drink coffee more. it's so unhealthy. anyway, while i was prancing round and round the bed, it kind of hit me that my previous post is way too depressing. there's no acceptance and it sucks because it isn't how it's supposed to be. i don't want to start my 2008 like that.

so what if life is cruel and men are more cruel? i'm going to party and shut 'em men out of my life. now i am kind of re-thinking if i should spend my January 1st the same way I did last year---in bed. He's fine and all, but he can't commit. am i going to waste my time with his kind. but i miss him, seriously, haha! nah, i'll be a li'l mature this time.

i made my 2nd mix tape! hooray! please visit my multiply and look for mix tape#2 link. hehe.

2007-12-25T19:05:00.003+08:00

she seem happy. maybe. but after staring at it for around 5-7 minutes, you will see that she's welling up inside. as if there's still a hole in her heart. even though everything is going great, anything she does will never seem right, because somehow something seem to be missing. a thing no one might understand, nor decipher.

2007-12-23T16:57:00.000+08:00

a business proposition and then some...

weee! Aless loved the thing i made for her, so she said i could take an of her photos and i can play around with it. i can also make flyers and stickers for VNP! which is a band i adore so so much! i'd do it for them for free!

now i am off to find an inspiration! haha! loaded my Diana+ with an Agfa Optima ISO 100 120 mm film. :D

me so happy today. my brother confirmed that we're going to Hidalgo tomorrow because i called Avenue Photos and they said they're open tomorrow! Yey! And oh, oh... i found a photog buddy --- Radz! he has a Canon400d so i'm dying with envy.

2007-12-22T15:23:00.000+08:00

LOVES it!

i shamelessly took Aless T.'s photo and edited it in CS2. It looks like a Bench poster but what the hell! haha! I have been dying to do something like this for about a couple of months now. I was kinda' slacking because i didn't have the brushes i needed. Until today, after I watched Nico Puertollano's interview in ShopTalk, I learned to improvise. I'm pretty happy with the result. There are some glitches but still... LOVES it!

I hope she won't get mad when she finds out i murdered her photo. :( Well, I hope she likes it though. fingers crossed.

2007-12-17T18:27:00.000+08:00

last night we had our christmas party. Parokya Ni Edgar and Julianne were our guest bands. we had a blast with Parokya. Their crazy antics never fails to make the people wanting for more. Julianne was great too, she made me miss home.

i won a Sodhexo gift check worth 1, 500.00 Php. Knowing that i'm so unlucky, it was better than nothing. Like what I read in Chito's shirt last night: Luck is for losers! hehe.

our after-party was spent in Jaime's place. we drank a handful of RedHorse Beer. Oh how I miss it. Funny thing was, i also drank chocolate milk. haha! so it was poo-time when i got home. I just felt like drinking a fuckin' chocolate milk for no reason at all. I think we stayed there until 6 a.m. Bryan's friends were also there. Unfortunately they were all gays. haha! Armando and adrian weren't around so the drinking band was incomplete. But i still had a blast!

2007-12-16T12:00:00.000+08:00

i was the one who turned my back against,

LOVE..

2007-12-16T11:45:00.001+08:00

all around the world, people make a change, it's Time to have a

CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!

2007-12-13T13:40:00.000+08:00

i still take lame pictures with my Diana+ :sad face: i'm ashamed to upload it on multiply. so to all lomokups and/or photo enthusiasts out there, can i get some tips? please? or maybe You who don't give a shit, can you please comment on any of these? it looks like i embraced the idea of "anything goes" with taking pictures through a toy cam too much.

this is the eiffel tower. kidding, hehe

meet Michelle

proudest

it's all about the Vignette, baby ;)

my favorite model :D

Jaime, eat my chucks!

======end of batch 1, start of batch 2================
these were supposed to be in ENDLESS PANORAMA mode. first panorama attempt which didn't turn out to be panoramic at all! anyways...

loading

"rock the riles'" photo disaster #1

Area 5, wild! Loves it!

Judy Ann Santos in Rock The Riles, WTF?@!

=============Let's end the Batch 2 disastrous madness and proceed to Batch 3=====

somewhere too familiar

my humble abode. dark and out of focus, it's sunny outside & notice the things that are hanging. haha! this one takes the cake, for me. it captured my life now in one photo.

that's it, actually. i would have hoped some photos weren't washed out and some had better colors. the shots were so cool in my mind, just wasn't executed right. i have 7 more rolls, so i can still keep on shooting.

2007-12-05T12:31:00.001+08:00

:happy mode:

i received my Agfa Optima 120 yesterday! Yey! I ordered it on-line last Saturday at lomographyasia.com. I thought it would take like 3-5 days so i was kind of surprise. I loaded the 120 film for the first time! well, my first 120 roll was loaded by Jennie. Hehe. And as advised, i covered the sides with electrical tape so light won't sneak in.

it's a double treat for moi! actually, the October stack rank came out yesterday and i'm at number 2 out of 200+ Reps, how cool is that? haha! i'm at it for 2 months in a row now. therefore i will get another Gift Check tonight! Yey! Shopping galore! i know, i'm consistent of being inconsistent so might not be on top for November for sure, but then again... I'm only at it for the Gift Checks!!! :p sweeeeet.

2007-12-03T12:31:00.000+08:00

let's blog something today!

i am currently listening to Aless T. and The Vince Noir Project's "Taste The Rust." electronic music is Love. I used to trash 'em music made from electronic keyboards and Cakewalk! what made me change my mind? I must say it was when i first heard Blinding Light, a collab of Spazzkid & Owell. so now when i'm alone and feeling a bit lonely-ish, i just put the music on, turn off the lights, and take out my Glow In The Dark stuff and dance until i get tired. haha!

anyway, let me tell you about last weekend. Friday, i watched NU Rock Awards. and i got free tix courtesy of Bernz! so i bought 'em guys beer and for some odd reason, the big guys, i mean bouncers in an odd yellow tight-fit shirts won't allow plastic cups with beer inside. So we had to finish our 500ml of beer in 5 minutes! ChicoSci played while we struggled to finish our beer, so that's a sad part, i didn't get to scream and jump inside. Anyhoo, we finished it up and got in and my world went upside down and then back up again. UGh! don't even bet on me on a beer drinking contest! because i like to drink it slow, with more talks and "pulutan." the crowd was enourmous, as usual. we couldn't squeez ourselves in the front so we stayed around 20 feet away from the stage, and about 5 feet away from a gigantic TV. I wasn't too happy with the winners because Bamboo took most of the awards. i told Bernz I wasn't aware they were BIG this year. But, my funny bones were hilariously tickled by The Ramons! hehehe with MonRa on vocals. if you watch MTV, you would know who MonRa is... "It's a lot of Fan..." And when it was time for Radio ActiveSagoProject to play, RA went on stage and played a Triangle.. because there was supposed to be a Wedding Scene in there. it was just hilarious. And the only award that mattered to me that night was Francis and Lourd de Veyra winning Producer of the year! well-deserve if you ask me and if you have you have listened to PUTANGINA MO ANG DAMING NAGUGUTOM SA MUNDO FASHIONIST KA PA RIN! you would know why. It was the first album rated 10.00 by Pulse.ph, which is to say it's---perfect, classic, deserve's an uber-play, must-have or a collector's item.

Here are moments i've captured from the Rock Awards 2007:

It's a lot of Fan, eh?

I want a big TV! looks as if i can almost kiss him!

ang tatay mo Adik! ang nanay mo Adik! ikaw Adik!

cam-whoring...

Cam-whores!

Loves it! don't know which band this is though, :p

All right, so the next morning I went out with my office buddies. We ate out and watched Beowulf in IMAX. It's the coolest movie experience! :D Then the next morning i was planning to clean but uh, my laziness won so I just ordered pizza and watched The Simple Life Season 2. Loves it!

Then today, Uh, went to McDonalds and read the newspaper! I read the news today, Oh Boy! I have this question that's been hovering in my mind for like 15 minutes now... do you really need a partner like a girlfriend or boyfriend to be happy? Is that the only thing that can make a person happy? And if I become an old maid, would i not be happy? Now that i've thought over it, I think that it only applies to people who are insecure. It's like they need to have someone to compliment them. They can't go to McDonalds alone. From that I must say i'm proud of myself because i'm not that kind of person. So i've been watching The Simple Life, right? There was this episode when Paris was talked into joining a Beauty Contest in Baltimore, and of course Beauty Contest should have this question-and-answer part. They were asked, what happiness is? While everyone else answered having a partner in life, raising a family and all, Paris answered it's having a Best Friend to get crazy with forever! (pertaining to Nicole) something like that. So she won the beauty contest. haha! So even if i don't have a steady partner in my life right now, i can say i'm totally happy because i have my best friends! :D men will come and go, but friends stay forever!

that's the end, Bitch!

2007-11-29T10:24:00.000+08:00

i can't help but stare.

2007-11-27T09:47:00.000+08:00

MIXTAPE GALORE!

i made a mixtape! i've been planning to do one but, life got in the way and i've forgotten all about it. it's called MIXTAPE#1. i uploaded it in the reliable multiply. if you wanna download it, click here.

meanwhile, let me share it on this blog.

this is a mixtape for the hopeless romatics

1.) push button emotion by Spazzkid - i heart this song. i love the *beep *beep and *doot *doot of electronic music. lovely rhythm, great lyrics about meeting an ex who "left just like that and never said good-bye" heheheh

2) first of summer by Urbandub - i never get tired of listening to this song, and i bet neither can anyone else! reminds me of those careless days... :D

3) deep eyes by Eggboy - needless to say this is one of my most favorite Eggboy track. makes me think of the beach, at night.. under the moon and the stars with the person you can spend the rest of life with.

4) weeknight memoirs in high definition by Taken By Cars - boooze, cars, moon-lit city sky, cigarettes, sex, rock n'roll... damn!

5) love song by The Cure - the ultimate love song.

6.) nico by Narda - the sweetest song in the world. Katwo wrote this especially for Nico. off the album Formika. Uhhh.... :D

7.) murasaki blue by The Dorques - in the mall, eating ice cream, holding hands... hahaha! you can kill me now!

8.) what a git by Vince Noir Project - "this song reminds me of losing my virginity..." 'nuff said.

9.) sticking with you by Velvet Underground with Nico - i found this track romantic in a childish and funny way. and "childish" isn't always a bad thing, y'know. i loved it from the first time i heard it.

10.) you were right by Badly Drawn Boy - probably the Sweetest song a guy can sing to a girl. hahaha! is it too hard to admit that we are Always right? hahah!

11.) you and me by The Bitter Pill - love is a mystery, and this is practically the best song to reiterate that.

12.) fools in love by Inara George - i couldn't really figure out until now how i feel about this track. it gets me down in ways i don't like. but i like it because it makes me feel strange.

That's it. i hope you guys enjoyed it. if not, well, make your own! :p

actually, it's lacking one thing... COVER ART! sooonnnn... :D